Whew! It's Been a Tough Time ...

Can't believe that I haven't posted in my blog since last October ... then, I thought about what we've been through since that time ... [deep breath] ... Whew! It's been a tough time.

Lynne is much worse ... sad to say.

Big decision ... a really big decision was made. We did a trial run called a respite with Lynne spending 20 days in an Assisted Living facility in West Virginia where she has family. That was back in late February and early March. It was hard for Lynne.

Then, I took her back to Hungary for another MS treatment in Germany among other projects in what I do in Eastern Europe with my non-profit 501[c]3 organization. A married couple, dear friends, Bruce & Deb Heffner came over in April and part of May to help us.

Lynne became weaker with less strength in her legs and arms, but, Deb was a big help for me as we took care of Lynne with her everyday needs. Finally, I began to realize that I could not care for her by myself.

That's hard to admit ... don't like to say it ... it was really wearing on me ... in many ways ... physically, emotionally ... a draining experience in every way.

You know, 40 years ago, Lynne and I made commitments to each other in our wedding ceremony.

Despite my feelings ... I had to admit that I could not lift her up by myself and help her with the bathroom ... shower ... getting her dressed or ready for bed. Just getting her into bed was exhausting--lifting her legs with one arm while providing support for her upper body with my other arm.

Getting her into the car ... oh man! That is hard work. It leaves me gasping for breath ... wipes me out for a few minutes. Hard to explain ... trying to bend her legs at her knees while her legs are straight almost like two logs. That's not a very feminine description, but, this is what it is like. Slowly, the legs begin to release a bit as I "suggest" to her knees applying mild pressure that they need to bend. Then, getting her to be in a position in the carseat with her back completely against the seat ... pilgrim, it ain't easy to do. [Sorry for the incorrect English, but, it seemed to fit.]

A major, major decision had to be made. I could not do my work and care for Lynne 24/7. Yes, I know that she is the priority, but, I came to the realization that she needed better care than what I can provide ... by myself.

What about someone coming in to help me? Tried it. Helpful. Our niece gave us three months of her life to help us out. Foreigners can stay in Hungary, where we live, only for 90 days without a special staying permit like a visa ... and this is complicated to organize. Our friend, the Heffners gave us six weeks ... six weeks! That was huge! But, how many people can do this?

What about paying someone to come in to provide care? Good idea ... wait, I checked the price for this ... groan! Furthermore, finding someone who won't steal and/or who will show up when they are supposed to be there ... time to use that "ain't" word again ... ain't easy to find.

24/7 care? That would take at least five caregivers, minimum ... vacations, time off, blah, blah, blah. Cost? $6,800/month at least.

Guess what? It now takes two people to help Lynne. Remember that I wrote that even I can't do it by myself now and I am still fairly strong. So, two caregivers per shift 24/7 ... try $6,800 times two. Not gonna work!

Decision made [6/11] ... Assisted Living full-time long term care. My stomach was in knots. I felt guilty, I felt bad like I was really letting Lynne down. Yet, it came to me that I was doing what is the best for my wife considering her condition. It took some time, but, I finally accepted this.

How about Lynne? Devastated. Hard for her. Tough! Really tough! She needs prayer ... encouragement.

Deep inside of me I know that she's going to make it ... accept it ... make an impact on those around her. More on this later. I'll keep you posted and I'll try to do so without waiting another year.

Keepin' my chin up!

Eric

Lynne's MS Treatment

Many people follow the progress of my wife's battle with Multiple Sclerosis ... 17 years now ... quite a long time. We just returned from her latest treatment given to her on October 3-7, 2010, in Edenkoben, Germany. The treatment center is in a lovely setting at the edge of a national park close to the border of France. The staff ... friendly and helpful ... we know many of them quite well in that Lynne has had more than 10 treatments there. The doctor is incredible. He really works hard to help Lynne and his efforts are greatly appreciated.

It takes 8 to 10 weeks to see how effective this treatment will be. So far, so good. Lynne reports an increase in energy though it is only a slight increase. Even a "slight increase" is reason for joy.

Why did God give MS to my wife? Don't know! I do believe that God is good, very good. He always does what is best for us even when we do not understand. This helps us respond properly. Otherwise, we would have more problems without a proper response. God is at work! We both keep this in mind ... God is at work.

Is it easy? No, it's not. Lynne's life has changed very, very much. She was a concert pianist, but, she realized that she cannot control her fingers to play the piano now. She stopped playing for our music group, The Hungarian Brass earlier this year. It was Lynne's decision and she seemed quite calm. That was impressive! I know that this is not easy for her, but, she can hardly wait until our next concert so she can hear our young men play their instruments. She loves them very much and tries to encourage them. Amazing!

Well, if you are a person of prayer, please remember Lynne Murphy in prayer that she will have a very good response to this MS treatment. I hope that I can give you an encouraging report in two months or so. Thank you for praying!

Eric

My Friend Iulian

Iulian Avramescu is from Bucharest, Romania. I have a lot of young friends from Bucharest having met them when they attended our Bible School that we started back in 1994. Romanians are full of life. Actually, I could write about several of them and I might do so in the future. Right now, I want to tell you about Iulian.

Jack Wyrtzen, one of my mentors, taught me to "accept a person for who he is and see him for who he can become." Potential! Iulian has vast potential. In fact, he is beginning to realize his potential now.

Iulian and his sidekick, Marius Laciu, just left our home today to return to Romania. Yesterday, we met with one of his board members who is in Budapest connecting with Campus Crusade. We talked about a camp site near Arad, Romania where Iulian has led youth camps the last two summers. This board member, Phil Blackstone, from Dallas, Texas, was excited to hear about this possibility. Maybe we can lease this property so that Iulian can expand his summer youth camps.

Last night, we held a conference phone call with the owners along with two other board members who live in Dallas. It was a good discussion. No decision yet--it will take more negotiation, more talks and more prayer. At this point we do not know what the outcome will be, but, I hope it works out.

Why? A young man brimming with potential needs a place to realize his potential. This would be a good spot to do just that. I've been there three times and I get excited about this property and buildings each time I go there. Man, oh man!

Who are you connecting with to invest your time in them? Do you see potential in a person younger than you? Are you helping him or her develop their potential? Do it! Look around ... you might be surprised what you will find. Your time will be well spent.

I knew that Iulian would need some fuel in his tank, so, I asked him to follow me to the gas station. After giving him a little bit of money to buy something to eat on his return trip I gave him a big hug. I hugged Marius, too. I encouraged Marius to stick with Iulian as his assistant and to build the team. As I watched them drive away I found myself smiling and thinking, "This is money well spent, a good investment." My time with these guys was even a better investment ... listening, talking, counseling, encouraging, "seeing" the future and showing what could be done ... potential.

Potential!

Eric Murphy

Lifestyle Changes

My father died from cancer. He won the first battle with prostate cancer in 2000-01. Bone cancer and lymphoma won the final battle in 2010. The last 10 years of his life were years of suffering because of cancer. Hard to watch ... I am sure that it was more difficult to endure.

My phone calls to my father in late May and in June were not easy. I could tell that his strength was waning. Finally, there was one phone conversation with my father telling me that he knew that he would not be alive when I was planning to visit him on his next birthday. He struggled to tell me this. Deep inside of myself, I knew that the end was near.

Cancer is a terrible disease. I had been reading various articles and books trying to find natural methods to fight cancer and I shared this information with my father. He decided to proceed with chemotherapy, not natural methods such as nutrition. I respected my father's decision and chose not to argue with him. He had the information and he made his decision. But, it made me do some deep soul searching.

I am not going to have chemo! No way! Did you know that 85% of oncologists report that they will not have chemotherapy if they have cancer? Hm-m-m!

Lifestyle changes ... I changed my routine. Earlier, about 11 years ago I stopped sugar. Good decision! Five years ago I stopped all soft drinks--cokes, et al. Three years ago I stopped using all sweeteners--the pink, the blue, the yellow, etc. Good decisions. Well, in June I made some more changes such as adding raw foods to my diet.

No, I am not a vegan or vegetarian. I simply increased raw food in my diet. Also, I accepted the fact that my metabolism does not process wheat products well. White potatoes is another culprit for me. Cream and milk ... I used to "love" this in my tea. All of these things made me gain weight! So, I stopped the "whites" and added raw foods. Bingo! I started losing weight!

Exercise is a great cancer fighter along with raw foods. Sit-ups and push-ups ... walking ... some Tae-Bo for cardio ... helped me to lose weight. More importantly, this is my plan to fight cancer! The extra benefit is the loss of weight ... now 25 pounds. And, I added 3 or 4 pounds of muscle because of the physical exercise.

Tell you what ... I'll update you in a few months to tell you about my progress. Check back.

Eric Murphy

The Old Silk Road

I love history ... years ago I studied the Silk Road. Funny, how something that interested me long ago re-enters my life again.

First, there is news about China building a railroad in Iran with aspirations to go through Iraq and on to Syria. Of course, they are looking to extend their railroad from China and the route that will be used is the old, historic Silk Road. I think this has prophectical implications with Israel involved. We shall see. A railroad along the Silk Road would be huge for commerce. Huge!

Next, a people story ... 20 years ago there was a young man who was under my influence in a youth camp that I started in Hungary. 1990 or '91 ... can't remember exactly ... he made a decision that set the course for his life. You see, I am faith-based. It means that I teach about God and allow those who hear to choose to receive or reject the information. That's their choice. Well, he chose to accept this message and he embraced it in his life ... a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Cool!

Later that week there was a campfire and he made another decision ... to do whatever God would have him to do. It's a commitment and he freely chose to commit his life to God wherever God would lead him. Now, it does not mean that everyone who makes such a decision is going to move to Kyrgyzstan, but, that's what he did.

Kyrgyzstan? Yes, in fact, he went to Bishkek. Hey, there it is again, the Silk Road. Connection! Did I tell you that I love history? He's making history!

The Chinese are building an important railroad and my friend is building in people's lives. Action on the old Silk Road ...

Camp Monty in Montenegro

One of the things that I do is put smiles on young faces. I love it! I started a unique youth camp in Montenegro [used to be part of old Yugoslavia] in 2007. My life was threatened the night before it opened, but, the situation improved each day. By the end of Camp Monty in 2009, parents were lined up to thank me for coming to their country and that their teens love the camp. Isn't that cool? God made this happen ... not me.

2010 was similar in that one mother thanked me for organizing Camp Monty each summer and that her son LOVES the camp. She even told me that she loves me and loves Camp Monty. Why? She sees that it does so much good for her son. Keep in mind that she told me this while waiting for the police to interview her son after his bike and a car were involved in a wreck. It happened the night after we had "all the watermelon you can eat" event after the evening meeting. Can you imagine that she would say something like this when so distraught about her son who received the worst end of the collision? I think she was glad that I came to check on her son and was trying to encourage him. He went airborne over the car landing on his cheekbone and temple ... ouch!

While I was talking with him, the 14 year old told me how much he enjoys the camp and how much he loves me and all of the camp staff. Incredible!

He is quite the "personality" in camp and he was greatly missed on the final two days of camp as he followed doctor's orders to stay in bed.

His mother attended the awards banquet two days after the accident despite her son not being able to come. I read a letter that he had written to thank everyone for Camp Monty 2010. Yes, she had some tears.

He's OK now and he can't wait for Camp Monty 2011.

You know what? Same with me--can't wait!!

Eric Murphy

Surprise Birthday Party

Lynne really pulled one on me! Surprise! Birthday Party--should have expected it because I am blasting into my 60th birthday come February 15. But, Lynne nailed me a week early.

Oh, it was fun! Yet, it humbled me. Hard to explain.

First, I saw Ildko Dobos-Barbaric and her dear mother. Aha! Something's up. Ildiko's husband, Bela, comes in. We had dinner with them on Sunday and they never mentioned so much as a word about my birthday. How did I miss that signal? Yet, it was so good to see them. So, I thought this is the birthday bash.

Well, I was totally surprised when the waiter led us to our table. As we turned a corner there were two of the famous Bolyki Boys with their families singing "Happy Birthday". I was STUNNED! I had no idea. Lynne's face was beaming. She was in a zone--totally happy that I was surprised.

I greeted them one by one and noted that we were in a separate room at the Trofea Restaurant in Budapest ... lots of tables and chairs. "Hey, there's lots of tables in here," I said. "Didn't you know?" said Laci Bolyki, "There are others coming. Bali [his brother] is coming and others." Say what??? "Duh, I didn't know anything about this." Laci loved this.

Sure enough, Gyuri Bolyki and his family walk into the room and greet me with hugs and kisses, Hungarian tradition. Everyone loved the look on my face ... sort of "deer in the headlights" look. They laughed.

Then, my young friend, Laco Gaal, and his mother, Illona, come in. I just couldn't believe it! Laco got a kick out of it that I was so surprised.

Brass music! I knew the sound. The Hungarian Brass were playing a beautiful song, "Great is thy Faithfulness", in the foyer of the restaurant stopping all the action in the large restaurant with everyone turned around to listen. After they finished playing they greeted me and I saw all of their families or girl friends ... I was astonished!

[I checked my pockets thinking about how much money I brought along--how am I going to pay for all the this???]

32 showed up!

Lynne had everything organized including using her personal money to pay for everyone. Bela helped her with those details. What a woman!

We had a great meal. Then, the lights go off and an upbeat version of Happy Birthday in Hungarian starts playing and our waiter brings in a huge birthday cake. It had 4 "torches" on it blazing "fireworks" into the air with two numbers, a six and a zero, that were lit candles. The young children were watching with fascination and so was I. Finally, the firework display ended with each torch sizzling out one-by-one. Remaining were the two little numbers and I made a big scene sucking in air to blow them out. Big cheer when I finished my personal wind storm.

Then, I said some things in Hungarian telling my friends how much that they mean to me and how special it was that they came. I told them how happy I am, yet, I had an unusual sadness, but, it wasn't sadness ... I had some tears as I realized just how much that they love me ... it was humbling ... a great blessing.

Great conversations that I had family-by-family as I moved around the tables during the meal and dessert. What incredible friends!

Oh yes, the cake, after my speech I took the knife and did my version of a samurai sword cutting the first slice with a gusto. The kids loved it and the adults seemed to like it as well. Probably, a couple of parents were wishing that their kids had not seen this as the parents were thinking about their kids and what they will do on their next birthdays. Oh me!

Slowly, they left as I listened to some of the kindest things that I have ever heard. It was special, so special.

Then, Bali shows up with his laptop and some speakers. Balazs Bolyki is an incredible talent ... a gifted soloist and the lead singer for the Bolyki Boys, one of Hungary's most famous groups. Bali gave me a personal concert! I kid you not. He said, "Daddy, I have come to sing for you ... three special songs."

The first two brought tears ... so meaningful. All three were wonderful.

I looked at my cell phone ... 11:32 PM! Most of my friends stayed until 10:30 or so and missed out on Bali's performance.

The Hungarian Brass playing their instruments --- Wow!
The Bolyki Boys --- how many birthday parties do the four of them attend together? Not many, I can tell you. What a treat!
Ildko and her family ... we have known Ildiko for more than 20 years and she was a special assistant to me for 15 of those years.
Laszlo Gaal Jr--the son of the co-founder of The Hungarian Brass [Laci Sr., Lynne and I started this group in 1991] ... he is a special young friend.

And, my wife of 38+ years, Lynne Murphy ... isn't she special?

Thank you, Lynne! I love you!

Yes, I am blessed!

Eric